Note to Self ...

Have you ever felt like this...? “I didn’t mean to do it (fill in the blank here). I knew what I should do, I knew in my heart-of-hearts it was working and would continue working, and I did it anyway. I messed-up. I know it. Emotionally, it was a bad day. It was a bad week. I let myself down. And the rewards I reaped from that letdown turned out to be pretty doubtful at best. And short-lived.”

Give yourself a break. Most of us have been there. After all, we’re not perfect. We’re human.

Augusten Burroughs author of ‘Running With Scissors,” “Magical Thinking,” and "Dry" wrote: Think of your head as an unsafe neighborhood—don’t go there alone. 

That might be a little extreme, but maybe not totally off-base. This is why teams are so important when we are navigating through—it. Team building is a high-impact learning experience. Team members quickly discover that diversity is their greatest asset, and that trust, cooperation, and effective communication are the keys to their success. People on teams tend to like each other and work hard to develop and maintain relationships—they don’t want to let each other down.

This results in open and direct communication, frequent praising of each others’ contributions, and mutual support. Personal and team growth provides an additional basis for sustained motivation. When people feel they are moving forward, learning new behaviors, and contributing to a personal or special cause, motivation remains high. 

Whether you know it or not, you are probably on several teams—your family is a team, you and your fellow workers or officemates are a team, you may be on a committee, you may be on a formal team at work, you may play sports—you get the idea. You can create your teams and choose the teams you want to be on. Teams are powerful things.

There have been times, and there will be others when you let yourself down. You know better, you do it anyway. You left the team and entered that “unsafe neighborhood.” The good news is, you can always go back. You can get back on-board. 

Really, wouldn’t you rather be a participant, than an onlooker, watching from the sidelines?

Giving...and Getting. And, Food Signals?

With Thanksgiving, Hanukkah, Christmas and New Year’s fast-approaching, it’s probably natural that we occasionally think of giving and getting. It is, after all, that time of year. But, have you ever considered the “Giving and Getting” side of food signals? Now is a great time to give it some thought because those signals are all around us.

Let’s start with an obvious seasonal signal—that plate of cookies many of us leave out for Santa (who obviously doesn’t need cookies but we want Santa to be comfortable). We bake cookies for friends, and receive cookies and candies from friends. Face it, food is on our minds. (Make a mental note when you’re out shopping to notice the number of restaurants touting “All You Can Eat.”)

But, in real life, the holidays, and the rest of the year, are not about all you can eat. Where food is concerned, we think the focus should be on the why, what and how much you eat.

In a logical world, we should be eating for nutrition and to satisfy true hunger. Babies know this. When they’re hungry they cry. We feed them. When they’ve had enough, they stop eating. As we grow up, we get distracted by food signals, and those distractions lead us away from what we did naturally as babies.

Food is everywhere. It’s hard to escape it. And, because it’s all around us, many of us find we’re almost always eating—sometimes just a bite of something that looks good, sometimes a big meal, and often more than we need or really want. We tend to eat mindlessly, sitting at our desks, in front of the TV, in the car, and as a result, we don’t pay attention to how much we’re eating or whether we’re even hungry. Do you think the Cinnabon smell that permeates the food court at the mall is an accident?

We tend to eat too fast—even when we’re not in a hurry. This doesn’t allow time for our bodies to receive the “full” or satiety signal. Have you ever finished a meal, and realized you barely tasted what you just ate? Have you ever looked at your desk and wondered where those four little bite-size fun bars went?

And we tend to eat when we feel stressed—and at this time of the year we all feel a little, or a lot of stress. In your heart of hearts, you already know there are other, more productive ways to deal with stress. Ask yourself, why are you eating . . . does the food comfort you? Do you eat to celebrate? Are you eating because everyone else is eating? Are you really about to starve to death?  Probably not.

We also tend to eat too much. While this is not news, it’s also not all our fault. We’re served larger servings at restaurants—in fact we’d probably complain if we were served an actual recommended portion. And, did you know there’s science behind why we sometimes eat too much? A study by the UT Southwestern Medical Center in Dallas finds that foods high in fat (such as a hamburger) actually tell your brain to “keep eating.” The study points out that your brain chemistry can change in a short period of time, meaning that when your brain gets “hit” with the fatty acids, you can become resistant to the hormones insulin and leptin. In other words, your brain isn’t being told to stop eating. In addition, those foods highest in fat are the foods that cause us to eat more—beef, butter, cheese and milk. Take a look at the ingredients in your favorite junk food—see anything there you might want to avoid?

Now, what happens if we decide to get back in touch with what we eat, and why we’re eating it? What if we’re on the lookout for what all those food signals really mean? Which of them are in our own best interests rather than adding to some fast food chain’s burger count? And while we’re at it, think what we could do for our collective health and well-being if along with becoming aware of the food signals we get, we all began to pay a little closer attention to the food signals we give others.

The food signals aren’t going to go away—the catch is learning to listen to them—and then paying attention to where they direct us. It’s not always where we want to, or should go. But, isn't that up to us?

The "ME" Project

We should all have one. Each of us is that important—important enough to warrant a special project that revolves around who we are. Sure, we can whine about what’s wrong—but we can—and should—also celebrate what is right. And, that’s certainly where the focus should be. That’s what we build from, and on. Right? That’s where change comes in and that includes the positive changes we set as goals.

Now think about this . . . if you re-direct your behavior often enough, you change your behavior. And, your attitude toward what influenced that behavior changes. You are thinking for a change. Literally.

But, change is not always a rational process. 

To change behavior, you have to address the conceptual “framework” the behavior fits into. “In one ear and out the other.” Sound familiar? How about, “don’t confuse me with the facts?”  (Don’t mess with my conceptual framework.) If ‘facts’ contradict a framework you’re familiar with (your current lifestyle behaviors are harmful to your long-term health, and in fact studies show those behaviors have a 75 percent chance of eventually killing you), your first thought will probably be, “that can’t be right. Those numbers must be wrong.”

We have an astounding ability to resist change. So, we have to change the framework where that behavior lies, and to do this, we have to create a new and improved framework that will accommodate our new behavior—and do it in a way that makes us feel really good about what we’re trying to accomplish (changing these few behaviors will improve your quality of life and long-term future, as well as that of your family). 

There’s absolutely no scientific reason we can’t change. You’ve probably changed jobs, cars, houses and apartments. Maybe you’ve changed careers. Maybe you’ve changed spouses. Most of us have changed our opinions on different topics. Some of us change political views, our tastes in music and art and even our tastes for certain types of food . . . ah ha! 

Now it’s time to apply those changes you want to make,  for yourself, to your very own “ME” project.

Underground Wellness

Hmmm . . .  underground? Wellness? What can it possibly mean? Here’s what.

We all hear a lot about wellness, unless we’re living under a rock (as in underground). The word wellness is so over-used, it’s hard to decide exactly what it encompasses, and what it doesn’t. It’s hard to decide where it belongs, and doesn’t. At work? In the community? At school? In your own home? Who’s in charge here?  You are. At least, you should be.

No doubt you’ve probably heard about the importance of  creating a Culture of Wellness. “Culture” is key to this idea of underground wellness because culture is defined as the collection of shared belief systems and habits of a particular group.

Think of culture as an underground river, running through our lives and relationships, sending us the very messages that shape our perceptions, judgments, and our own ideas of self and others.

We all belong to and are part of a culture and it is as natural as the blood running through our bodies. It’s what makes each of us who we are. It influences us in just about every way imaginable, and actually can define how we view right and wrong, good or bad, fun or boring—in essence, who we are . Culture contributes to the way we dress, the food we eat, and the people we work with and spend time with. It divides and joins us. It can be the bond between us, or the wedge that drives us apart.

To drive the point home, culture is that binding force that brings us and ties us together, providing a sense of purpose and belonging.

Now, an underground culture is a sort of counter-culture, a subculture whose values and norms of behavior deviate from those of mainstream society. Believe it or not, wellness has become an underground culture. Current estimates point out that only 1 in 7 U.S. workers is of normal weight without a chronic illness, and that 67 percent of our society is overweight or obese. About 20 percent of us still smoke. Up to 85 percent of us feel an increasing degree of stress. And, it’s estimated that by 2020, 50 percent of the population will have type 2 diabetes.

So where is this Culture of Wellness we keep hearing about? I’d have to say, it’s gone underground . . . but if we each take the initiative, we can bring wellness back to the mainstream. We really can create that Culture of Wellness—if we decide wellness will begin to shape our lives, be a part of who we decide to be and who we are. What do you think?

Just a Little Better

It sounds so easy. “I’ll do just a little bit better.”  But, just a little better, in reality, can be a lot better. It can mean all the difference in getting enough sleep, eating more fruits and vegetables, consuming fewer calories, fewer sweets, fewer refined carbs, less alcohol. The list goes on.

For many of us, our daily decisions revolve around our work, our children and families, how we choose to and need to spend our time, what we are able to afford,  how we prepare our meals (or if we prepare our meals) . . . you get the idea. And, the idea is, that wherever we  are along the continuum, we can all do just a little better.

If you have two soft drinks a day, have just one (and then do better still). Do the same for your children. If you have dessert at every meal, try limiting it to once a week, or on special occasions. If you have sugar-laden breakfast cereals (because, after-all, that’s what your kids see on television), switch to a whole grain cereal topped with berries or a banana. If you don’t have time for 20 minutes of moderate physical activity every day, try for three times a week—maybe a family walk after dinner rather than half an hour of TV.

Even with time, financial and work constraints, we can all find ways to make even the smallest improvements in our lifestyle behavior choices. By adopting a just a little better attitude, you not only do better, you set a better example, and your children learn by that example.

 

Keep in mind too, that just a little better isn’t just anything—it might just be everything.